SONG OF SELF

Going through Nietzsche, again, a thought struck me today: as much as Nietzsche relished bashing literalism, he himself wanted to be taken literally. In the songs of Zarathustra, after he goes from 1 to 12 on the depth of eternity – and woe to all those who don't take Zarathustra literally – he sings “the 7 seals or the yes and amen song.” I read what Zarathustra has to say literally simply because he makes sure not to have any nuance between his yes and his amen. Thus each seal ends appropriately with a desire for eternal recurrence and 7 repetitions of these lines: “Never yet have I found the woman from whom I wanted children, unless it be this woman whom I love: for I love you, O eternity! For I love you, O eternity.” While getting dressed to go to the hair-dresser's, I found myself chanting back: O Zarathustra, there's never any “us,” is there? Only eternity, the pure, formal, non-nuanced eternity. Or what, O Zarathustra? For why am I wearing my Rick Owens Lilies smash of a dress? Only so that I can fall in love with myself? Recurrence exists. I've decided to reproduce myself, my yes and amen, as I walk the tightrope of bonds, ropes, and seals and pledging to understand the meaning of “there is no us,” on my way to Finland, to talk about Nietzsche, and how he would have loved me more than he loved eternity, if he saw me the moment I walked in on him while he was praying with a whip in his hand, and love in his eyes. Eyes which said: light grey is definitely my favorite color.

Comments

Robert Gibbons said…
Your song reminds me of how I first fell in Love with Julia Kristeva. In 1986, Paris. [I may have just come from a tryst on rue Saint-BenoƮt with Duras.] Stepped into the Village Voice Bookstore on rue Princesse, where Madame Kristeva spoke from the very top shelf in the form of DESIRE IN LANGUAGE. For the next three weeks we hung out in a barge on the Loire, on the beach in Nice, back to Paris, where she illuminated in "Giotto's Joy" that color is the sole entity that can bypass our censor: "Color might therefore be the space where the prohibition foresees & gives rise to its own immediate transgression." 24 years is a long Time to be in Love on the same page = 221. Merci-rg

P.S. Wrote a piece today on Goya's palette, & my favorite color, black. Gracias! -rg
Camelia said…
Robert, thanks for that memory. I'm interested in immediate transgressions, especially as they take place on pages first - the first real test for thinking anything worth the while, really, and without which no realization of any act worth the while would be possible.
Robert Gibbons said…
Beautiful, perfectly said, & immediately!! Merci! -rg
Can we have the painting?!

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