SENSE LIST

Why Norway for 3 weeks every year? Try this:


1. First you get a luxury cabin that comes with absolutely everything in it.

2. In the mornings you get up and go on the porch to smell the grass – get your nose in it, and don’t cheat.

3. What you do between coffee and lunch is not that interesting though depending on whom you are with, the potential to have it either passionately or domestically is there.

4. Then you take a drive – the most favorite for me is not along the fjord, as much as that is praised, and for good reason, but on a mountain plateau.

5. You pick a mean slope and up you go to the top. 50 degrees inclination upwards is pretty good.

6. When you get to the top, past the stones, you get hit by the smell of small flowers, such as chamomile (surprise, surprise). You don’t have to prostrate yourself – you will fall flat on your nose automatically. You are ready to die, as the smell envelops you.

7. When you come to your senses, you pose a philosophical question, which you also answer immediately – you did come to your senses.

8. You go down.

9. At the bottom, if you are in Geilo, you hit Dr. Holms Hotel and have a Laphroaig – they never have any weissbier, the idiots…

10. Then you eat at the Hallingstuene under the able guidance of celebrity chef Frode Aga. Make sure to eat the kid liver, and try to guess what the red-beet garniture is made of. My nose is dead sure: cherry juice, aniseed, lime, and lemon. This gets corroborated by the head waiter – who, however, has to ask the chef first. The wine selection at Hallingstuene is famous, so no need to mention more.

11. You go back to the cabin; are surprised that you’re still alive, so you start to smell the grass and the trees some more.

12. You have a sauna. You give your nose a rest and let your body immerse itself in itself.

13. You ask your partner to give you a foot massage for three hours afterwards. He feels privileged to do it.

The day ends with a national anthem: Long Live the Empire of the Senses!