On the Eve of All Hallow's Night, one of my perennial convictions gets stronger. If you want to see things, you see them. The holding back is just an illusion. Kafka said it right:
"You can hold back from the suffering of the world, you have free permission to do so and it is in accordance with your nature, but perhaps this very holding back is the one suffering that you could have avoided. Be quite still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked. It has no choice."